What's wrong with me?  Get it together, Berri! Your friends are all really sad and lonely right now and don't have time to read your angsty journal entries about Bleaker and that stalker and everything! So pull yourself together already! You have to be the bright and cheerful one that everyone can count on never being sad! Mm mm! Let's try harder now, okay?

I'm sorry to all of my friends who've been sad lately. I haven't made much effort to cheer you up. I'm a pretty bad friend in that regard...
So if there's any way I can help you at then let me know, okay?! I don't want you all to be sad anymore so I'll give cheering you up my 100% best effort! You can count on me, okay?!

Masume~~!!!! Are you in Japan yet? Reply if you have internet~~~?

Sis went to Brazil today! I hope she'll be okay. 
Bleaker, come home.

HAPPY WATANAGASHI  EVERYONE!

I work today, otherwise I was going to have a Higurashi marathon with Liz. au.

I got my new laptop for school yesterday too ~* It's cute! I named it "Raising Heart Excelion"!

I'm very very lucky. My parents are so so good to me. I love them very very much. This is the first time since Bleaker disappeared that I've been able to honestly say I'm 100% happy so... Yay~! Yeah, it's pathetic but Bleaker being missing has made me so sad, but I guess what they say about things getting bad when you expect them to be bad is true. When I was missing Bleaker I started noticing everything else that was going wrong...

How silly, right? ~* But I'll be okay now!  I'm at 120% for real this time! Fight-o!

PS: Bleaker, you still better come home soon. I'm waiting, you know?

Sorry, Berri, but giving up and sulking isn't an option. Get it together! I won't lose to something like this! Fight on~!

I graduated today. And then I got to have a nice time with my family. I've been very happy but also very busy, both with grad-prep and other stuff for the family's sanity. Being home alone all weekend (Mom got home yesterday) and cleaning up after my siblings was exhausting.

So now I'm exhausted. I hope to rest a bit tomorrow.

On a side note, I got my Umineko game. I've been slowly playing through when I have spare time. I hope to play some more tomorrow. It's fun.

Today was my last real day of school! Afterwards I had lunch with Anneka and Oneesama! Then I went shopping with mom! So I will be very happy! Nipa~h, right?

Bleaker, please come home.

I know I shouldn't but...

Times like these make me feel really lonely.

Why do I try? Because I don't want to be lonely. 
But I always get pushed away.
But... I won't give up.  It'll be okay. Somehow... Somehow I'll win.

Got so so much to do before the end of the year! Why do I have to be so darn stupiiiid?!

But it'll be okay! I can definitely get all of this done! Yeah! Absolutely!!!

On the bright side!
I have work tomorrow! So I'll be able to earn the last little bit of cash I need to buy the Umineko game! <3 Yay!

And the Mayfield event is really interesting. It's fun to play Rika for this~.


It's been three weeks since Bleaker went missing.
BleakBleak. It's time to come home now... Where the heck are you?

I had fun! I learned a lot about voice acting, got Higurashi stuff, and spent a lot of time with my friends. I even made a new friend!

But even though I had a lot of fun my cat still isn't home.
I know I shouldn't let it spoil my happiness but I really am worried.
And it's starting to show again. In pathetic ways. I got so depressed that I couldn't get out of bed. I just didn't see the point. That's just sad, Berri.  Bleaker was just a cat, right? Just a cat that you babied and had to protect. You shouldn't get so depressed!

I need to get it together!

Con tomorrow~ Con tomorrow~
My Ayu Cosplay is ready. I just need to steal back my headband from Sis.
Then I need to get breakfast stuff for Oneesama, figure out who else is coming to the hotel, and check my money one more time.

Bleaker is still missing. It's been two weeks. It's pathetic how upset I am. I spent two hours cuddling my other cats but it just made me miss Bleak Bleak more. I feel terrible for him being missing and it scares me so bad to think he's all alone somewhere...
But I won't give up! Bleaker's gotta be okay! And he'll come home really really soon!!!

I have a convention tomorrow... I have to be at 100% happiness! So even if I'm really really worried I'm going to have fun this weekend... so... ROAR! Shuu shuu, fly away sadness! It'll definitely turn out okay! I know it will!

I'm not planning to take my laptop with me so I'll be gone until around Sunday. Please have fun without me, okay? Be safe everyone!

Work on the 29th! Don't forget, Berri!

I'm sorry for freaking out last night... Sometimes I'm a stupid silly. Actually, that's a lot of the time. But don't worry, I'm at 100% now! I'll do my best! It's a promise!

BTW, Bleaker, get home already. I miss you. If you're gone any longer I'm going to start thinking you'll never come home. I don't want to give up.

The Memento Eden event started which makes me happy! I'll do my best with my characters! But because of the event  I stayed up really late... nihe.

And Purg has been very nice too. I joined chat and everyone was so kind to me. I'm going to do my best to repay all of their kindness and be the best I can be with my characters so I don't hold them back.  I'm already a lot of trouble at times so I've gotta try much much harder to not be a burden anymore. Thank you so much for putting up with me, everyone!

But Bleaker is still missing...
I know I should be happy right now but I really miss him.
Bleaker, please come home soon.

Bleaker is still missing...
come home now. ._.

I had work again today. Sushi Chef gave me a special treat. Yay! Waiter H teased me. Boo. > > I didn't screw up today! Yay!

I also visited App State, which is probably where I'll go to college next year. The campus was nice. I finished my little application thing but I need to edit another one... But stupid dad lost my username and password. X__X thanks dad... why did you have that paper in the first place? >_< gaaaah!

Stealing from Cherry-mama. A meme~
Ask me a question about my roleplaying characters in context of the game. It can be any question, about relationships, history, plans, what they're doing right now, romance, what they want to do, their favorite comfort foods, anything. It just has to be about the character in game context. I will do my best to answer the question in as much detail as possible.

My characters... Rika, Winry, Sakura, Nagi, and Nanoha in ME. Aono, Ayu, and Nodoka dropped from ME. Winry and Rika in Purg. Nodoka in VE. OCs Satou Kuroneko (Tokyo Mew Mew & Original Universe versions) and Zarini Deux(Pokemon).

oh, and...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PLUM!
Today is your birthday, right? My calendar says it is.

EDIT:
I made four new friends today!!! Everyone is so nice. I'm a very lucky person. I must repay their kindness!

driving thrusday
work friday
work saturday
figure out that psyche project.

I want my kitty.
I've been miserable worrying about him. I'm afraid it shows T__T

With everyone wishing me luck like this I'll definitely find my kitty! >_<

Bleaker, please come home soon so I can stop worrying about you.... and cause I really need some kitty cuddles after that phone call.

Today was a good day at work. I'm making this entry to remind myself when I have a bad day that I love my job.  My social skills suck, though, and I completely froze up when a customer tried to start a conversation with me. T////T
After work we had a taco supper! Because the Mexican kitchen staff doesn't like the Japanese food dinners. So manager made us all tacos. It made me really happy with Waiter-H-san said "You could go home now but my mom's making supper if you want to stay." I felt like we were friends. I know it's silly but it made me so so happy!

OH! And there was a wind storm!!! The restaurant doors all flew open and our umbrellas and outside tables flew around. It was really scary and I was really worried about the other two waiters, who went out to get the stuff... All the men dining in the restaurant ran out to help too and I was the only girl on staff.. So all us girls just hung out and watched nervously.

But my kitten is missing. so I can't say this is a good day...

Bleaker. Come home. I'm worried.

I did okay with the driving lessons. Next one is next Thrusday. AP Exams have been pretty easy too. I work Friday AND Saturday... auu. Gonna be so sleepy...

Masume: Sorry for vanishing so suddenly last night. My internet crashed. Good night and be safe tonight at least, okay? Much love!

Comment to this entry and I'll pick three of your fandoms. You must then update your journal and answer the following questions:

01: What got you into this fandom in the first place?
02: Do you think you'll stay in this fandom or eventually move on?
03: Favorite episodes/books/movies/etc.?
04: Do you participate in this fandom (fanfiction, graphics, discussions)?
05: Do you think that more people should get into this fandom?

( Hustino-san gave me Nanoha, Higurashi, and Pokemon! )

I have driving lessons tomorrow.
I never asked for them. Mom never asked if I needed them. She just signed me up.
I'll be driving with a stranger.
I'm afraid of driving.
I'm afraid of meeting older adults on my own.
And it's a man.
I'm afraid of men. I don't want to be alone with a man. Not in a car.
I'm sure he's not a bad guy but...

I'm still really scared...

I hate big bugs. Why are they in my room and inviting their scary friends? Make them go away. They keep touching Berri's precious things.


I can't sleep now... T__T;;

Oh! But I learned something new!
/clear!
I should use it after I space out and come back to chat sometimes. Or when someone tells me to. Everyone knows when I need to /clear! ^_^ Thank you, everyone!